Shagged like dk what.

CIP earlier really killed my sleep. Crazy, 5.30am reach Sentosa, shuttle bus at 3am+. Lmao! Vivo-ed to eat, then starbucks-ed to study. Mocha cookie crumbleeee. Hehe. 7.70$ to stay there for 4-5hours HAHA. Study until damn tired please. Caffeine not helping man, me still sleepyz.

Lack sleep leh. The day before I got stripped in my game, LOL. Grr. So didn't sleep properly, then ton all the way for CIP. Jeez.

Getting abit cranky liao. Ahhh. Dont ask me anything stupid man.. I getting annoyed, irritated, cranky, pissed. Hahahaha. See what lack of sleep can do to you! Got CF2 test tomorrow, mati lah. And homework one whole pile.

I WANNA TIDUR. WO YAO SHUI JIAO. I WANNA SLEEEEEEEEEEEP. End off.

Messy mind?

Just started raining heavily now, oh god, feels so nice. Cooling wind and all. Peaceful to be awake alone at night. Sitting and nua-ing at the living room. It's 3.50am now.

Felt kinda depressed a few hours ago, I have no idea why. (The bedroom door just opened twice for nothing, fuck. Getting abit scared now.. Midnight man.. :X) Okay. Anyway. Yeah. Idk why too. Must be overthinking again. Was reading some stuff, and I guess that got me thinking as well. When I start thinking, it usually ends up in a disaster. Lol. 'Cause I think ALOT, way way alot.

Dont know how to put into words suddenly, lol. Had so much to type earlier but when I dozed off for like 30min, by the time I woke, I forgot what I was gonna post. Lol.

Basically I was just thinking about everything - life, myself, and all the crap. Life's unfair, life's not a bed of roses, life's what you make out of it - And so on. Cliche, yes, but it's true. But most of us overcomed it, isn't it? Tough times don't last, tough people do. I always try to convince myself, lol. Things screw up on me all the time, never goes right and all. I always believe that things happen for a reason, no matter how stupid the reason is. Just gotta accept and let it be.

Life's not perfect, neither are we. I'm full of flaws, too.

I hate being nagged at. I don't sleep early unless I'm really tired. I'm a swearing machine. I use vulgar alot, like it's a normal thing, when I'm pissed. I show it when I'm pissed. I show it when I don't like a person. I don't like to hide things. I get fucked up when people lie to me. I say what I think. I'm blunt and straightforward. I'm rebellious. I'm a terrible procrastinator. I hadn't really studied for exams before. I lack motivation. I have no sense of urgency. I like to do things at my own pace. I am too sensitive. Feelings matter a shitload to me. I overthink. I'm not exactly optimistic. I am too gullible. I get affected by certain people's actions and words. I appear to most people as being too dont-care-ish. I recently realized I like to minium. I always trust the wrong people. And the list goes on and on.

I hate pampered people. I hate people who whine about minor things. I don't like it when people get others to do EVERYTHING for them when they obviously can do it themselves. I hate liars. I dont like people who say one thing and meant another.

Blahblah. Pampered people pisses me off, idk why. Like, there was once when someone complained to me that she cried and all. I was like, what happened? And she said that oh, she wanted to watch tv and her dad didnt allow, and she cried 'cause her dad raised his voice a little at her, and he hadn't before in 17years. When I heard I was totally speechless, only two words in mind: Fuck you. Lol.. Seriously. Prolly it's 'cause I've survived so many "storms" from them without crying. If you cry over minor things like that you'll never get far in life. Haha. If she's me she'll prolly be hardened, and not so darn pampered.

Whiners, yeah. Damn. If the rice is hard, don't eat it. Don't whine like the rice owed you or something, for fuck sake. Such minor small things too. Oh, and I really HATE it when people lie to me. #1 on my list. If you wanna lie, please lie better. Don't let me find out. I'll get damn fucked up. And if I realized you lie, well.. Idk what I'll do then, if you're not one of those whom I have a soft spot for. And as for people who say one thing and mean another, go fuck yourself. You wanna say one thing, you jolly well mean it. No point saying it without meaning it.

I'm one who will do anything and everything for those that I'm fond of. You need help, I'll go till the end to help you. You need something, I'll do anything I can. I can give up my things to help you. I just want them to be happy. When they are, I am too, kinda. I would sacrifice anything for them. Bad point: I wouldn't do the same for myself. Lol. Which is terrible.. There's always this saying that goes "Do things for yourself, do what makes you happy. Dont do it for others. Dont live for others". Can't do that though. Oh well. :( Fucked up bad point of mine.

Oh well. And I realized that those people whom I trust alot in, I usually ended up damn disappointed at times. Perhaps I expect too much - Expectations kill everything. So, time to get rid of expectations! I just wished that sometimes some people will appreciate more of what I do. Hate being disappointed.

Wasted one whole day yesterday, fuck it. Gonna sleep soon. I swear I'll do work tomorrow, god damn it. I promised myself I would do a little, ended up getting sian today and didn't do any shit. Fuck. Feel like minum-ing again. Lol. Too sian nowadays zzz. Anywaaay. Motivation, come to me pleaseeeeee.

Lol! Okay whatever. Kinda jumbled up now, my post. See. Just like my mind. Everything's messy and without order. Haha. Type so long and slow.. Now near 7 alr. Damn I'm sleepy, finally. Maybe I'll post more next time. Time to tidur. End off.

AVENGERS!

Caught Marvel's The Avengers earlier in the afternoon with M and J. Hehe.

DAMN GOOD MOVIE. Love it :D but I think it will confirm be better in terms of effects if it's in 3D form hehe. But digital was fine. Good movie. I love marvel movies!

My favourite two: Hawk Eye (Jeremy Renner) and Captain America (Chris Evans). Bloody hell, they're soooo hot. Hahahaha. The way Hawk Eye shoots without looking is just waaaay stylish. And idk, Captain America just looks cool. Hehe. And I know it seems crazy, but Hulk was cute! The actions all that lmao. Laughed like shit. "And Hulk, SMASH". Hahaha. Iron Man is the best in terms of humour.

Good show luh overall. Not overrated, I like it :D Hehe. Then met T and A afterwards.

Oh my god, look at the time. Gonna coma soon. Kinda mabuk now actually. Lol. After-effect. Haha. End off.

Ironies.

Met them on Fri. Was good. Think I might even get addicted... Oops. Hahaha. Hope not! But it's good, really. MORE TO GO! Gotta taste more variety hehe.

Didn't do any work today. Knn. No mood for it leh, dk why. This kind of mindset I gotta change it soon sigh. Must fucking force the motivation out. Lol. WHERE IS ITTTTTTTTTTTT.

Anyway. Was thinking how things are kinda ironic. Like, generally.

I can give advices to people easily, but I usually cannot advise myself.
I can counsel people, but I can't counsel myself.
I can help others solve their problems easily, but I can't solve my own problems.
I can go till the end to do things for certain people, but I can't be bothered with my own things.
I can sacrifice everything to help people whom  I want to help, but I can't be bothered to sacrifice things for myself.
I can cheer people up if I want to, but I can't cheer myself up.
I can make people smile and feel better, but I can't do that to myself when I need it.
I can tell others not to think too much, but I cannot NOT think when it's me.

When I'm troubled and you come to me with your problems, I would help with yours and forgot my own ones.
When I'm down and you're down as well, I would not show that I'm down.
Many. Many. More. Haha.

Just thinking too much as usual.. Bleah.

Come to think of it, I realized I seldom show it when I feel sad/upset/troubled. I just keep it deep down and keep thinking and thinking and pondering and pondering about it. I don't say it out. People usually sensed it from me themselves. Haha. But when I'm pissed, I make it a point to show it. Lol!

Anyway, dead sleepy now alr. Haha. Gonna coma. End off.

我要出去喝，有没有人要陪我去喝？

Geting scolded in the middle of the night now.. Lol. Gotta love this.

And with some high and mighty people everyday who is acting as though I owed him in the past life, I really have no mood to do anything man these few days. Seriously. Either get dao-ed or get some stupid response. Bo mood lah.. Gonna emo and not talk soon lol.

Mad spam music. And I'm so sleepy.. Everything is so screwed. No mood no mood no mood. Wo xiang chu qu he, you mei you ren yao pei wo qu he? Lol.

Really damn damn sian. I can just stone and stare into space out of the blue. :/ Dont know how YOUR mood affects MY mood so much. Knn. Lol. Whatever luh.. I wanna sleep. :( Sleep is the best. End off.

Wondering when will you realize it.

(27th Apr)
Happy Birthday B.

Hope you enjoyed your bday today.. Told T to buy you an Awfully Chocolate de cake but he didnt.. Grr. But at least they celebrated with you.. :) Hope it was a great day for you! But I bet it was.

cant understand why the feeling's still there despite the way you treat me. 

Abit sian.. Anyway! Arts Fusion tomorrow, gonna try enjoy. Can't believe I dozed off while typing this. Typed at 11+.. It's like 5.26am now. Bo mood.. So I'm YouTube-ing now. Haha. Love music man. End off.

Awesome 18th.

Hehe. Had a good 18th yesterday :))

Thanks alot to everyone - whether it was texts, presents, cakes, phone calls, meet ups, or surprises - Everything was awesomeee! Hahaha.

Day started off not too good thanks to the naggings, but the call was great. Worth missing sleep for. HAHA. Headed to school. Normal lessons etc. Dk whether to laugh or not at zl man LOL. She kept going around telling every single person she see that it's my bday and that they should wish me happy bday LOL. Funny la! Hahaha. Then my dear two classmates purposely shouted happy bday damn loud in the middle of the canteen, everyone turn and stare. LOL.. Feel like running away. Hahaha. Paiseh sia.

Surprised to see two oranges.. Apparently Zl put in my bag. HAHA. Joker. Ate it. Lol!! Class last year gave me fruitcake and chocolate cake from Four Leaves. Hehe. Wah really ate alot cakes man. This year's class gave coffee cake from Bengawan Solo on wed, the awesome eight gave a cookies&cream cake from Polar, and my fam gave a chocolate cake from YiLin. LOL. Siao liao lah. Cakes overload!

Oh yes. After school was pretty epic LOL. Kena dragged to lakeside by zl. SO FAR PLEASE. Anw on the mrt saw a guy playing kaw too, LOL. We edged up to him and I saw his kaw ign. Hahaha. Wahlao not bad siol, owner of a clan. Zl told me to farm him hahahaha. Headed to plaza sing.

Ended up didnt get to watch my Streetdance 2. Hahaha. Think it wasn't in their plan in the first place. Roar. Astons for dinner yum. Didnt expect to see all turning up man. Surprised wah. All there except hanling. Hehe thanks guys for the fun and laughter. Anyway, getting spamcall-ed by thow and anf during dinner. Hahaha. I'm lateee.

Headed to raffles place around 10 LOL. Met yel thow anf. Heh. Was damn nervous lah at first, i totally hugged my present and was kinda quiet. HAHAHA. Not being rude.. Just nervous :P Hehe. But they were damn nice, I must say. :)) Treat me veh good, esp thow.

Felt so paiseh even when I order the sprite. Hahaha. Thow still ordered ice-cream for me. Hehe. It's niceeee. Green Monster-ed abit. HAHAHA. Abit bitter leh. Lol!! They were joking around all that. Felt less nervous after awhile. Thanks guys. Hee.

Coffeeshop-ed after reddot. Then cabbed home. Reached around 12+. That was when I realized there's ANOTHER cake at home, LOL. Like siao only. Next day then eat.

All in all, I enjoyed myself. Thank you all. Heh. Anyway. Still in a party mode on sat. Hahah. Start work on sun ba. Watching tv. Bored siaaaa. End off.